With a Cherry on Top!

I am celebrating my 10th month in Sedona, and if anyone asks, I say, “I’m from here.” This is my home. It is not bragging for me to say I have not had what could be called a "bad week" since I arrived here last July.

That is not to say, I have not been challenged – I have. And those challenges have required a tremendous amount of inquiry and processing – if not effort and labor. Because the bulk of that work has been internal does not lessen its importance. In fact, it is the internal demons that most stand in the way of our peace and happiness. And it is the internal work that most promises to deliver us from suffering, both inside and out.

So, why did I choose this week to pull an abundance of external challenges into my awareness? I still don’t know why and I may never know. I am okay with not knowing. I have faith that it was all needed for my development and that it is also all in divine order. Though, it occurs to me that I needed to have something more in my awareness for comparison purposes.

I will not detail you to death, here – let me just offer you a slice. My computer crashed on Monday. Okay, the machine is four years old and on its 2nd hard drive. Though I commiserate about the disposability of this technology, I accept it. The laptop had seen me through the most tumultuous years of my life, and it was worn out.

So, when I took the notebook to the Best Buy tech, he tells me there’s nothing on the hard drive to retrieve. Now, I know that can’t be true, because I personally placed over a hundred poems on there . . . and a novel . . . and two screenplays . . . and all my banking. So, don’t tell me there’s nothing there.

The resolution of this challenge was not impossible, it simply required time and attention I had scheduled for work I actually wanted to do. After this event, there was a piling on of external difficulties, including a home visit from a Coconino County officer who wondered if I had forgotten to respond to that photo speeding ticket I had received from them some time ago. I said, “yes.”

Then, the culmination of the week was an unexpected return of a now familiar piece of “shadow” connected to an ancient and deep wounding in me. When it arrived, I said aloud, “Thank you, God!” Because I needed a cherry to sit atop this shit-pile. It seems there was one more layer to this particular point of pain, and the good news is – it feels like the last installment. We will see.

Now, on the first day of a new week – I don’t have hope, I have assurance – that all is well. I am kicking off from the side of the stream and I will let the current take me where it will.

For those of you in the greater Sedona area, I will be reading a new performance-piece poem this Thursday, 5 – 6:30PM, at Java Love Coffee House. It might be good and even have a laugh or two.