The Dreamer and the Medicine Man

Something one of my teachers, Timothy Buzzard, said today sparked a focused remembrance in me. He said, we can all remember the awakening moment in our experience that changed everything – that mandated that we never be able to see or understand anything the same way again.

It took me about two seconds to place the event; for me it was a series of events, but at the time I had no frame of reference for understanding what had happened in my awareness. It took years for me to really understand, though I knew I had been changed.  I knew nothing would ever be the same.

It was the late seventies, and a friend of mine invited me to go with him to the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota to sit in some ceremonies put on by a rather obscure Medicine Man named Dawson No-Horse. At the time I was working in an urban Indian Center in Lincoln, Nebraska and was fascinated with everything Indian. I had already set in on a Native American Church ceremony – listened to the songs, heard the prayers, and even took some peyote. I found the experience empty and uninspiring. The peyote made me sick and I had to leave the ceremony halfway through.

The Lakota ceremonies provided a different insight. I participated in the Inipi (sweat lodge), the Yuwipi and numerous Chanupa (pipe) ceremonies. The details are not needed here. I was a young man, in my early twenties and still attended a traditional Christian church. I was raised in the church, and though I was tolerant and even curious about other religions, I was a true believer.

The Lakota ceremonies did not contradict any of my beliefs, but they surely showed me that the narrow traditions in which I had been raised could not possibly hold all the mysteries. I was forced to question absolutely everything I believed to be true. Up was down. In was out. Black was white. My religion, the belief system in which I had been indoctrinated since birth, was insufficient. There was more to man and God and the Universe, and I was just on the brink of discovery.

I have heard it said that for those who have had a profound supernatural experience, they are of no use in the conventional world. That certainly felt true for me. I could see that I was smart enough and industrious enough to manipulate the world of form in such a way to get money and things – but I could never fully believe in the value of doing so.  I went to work – to get more stuff – but my heart was never in it. All my success in the material world was fleeting. This was often disconcerting to a partner who could also see those possibilities and could not understand that the rewards I sought lacked substance and texture.

The other piece that Timothy provided today is this: once a person has given himself to the process of awakening, the only practical function left for us in the world of form is to be of service. We may be of service to others, or we may purely be of service to Awakening itself.  We are witness to spirit, source, soul, consciousness; whatever you want to call it, waking up to who and what it really is. This is our sacred calling. This is our function on the New Earth.

I am finding that being of service to Awakening can be rewarding, even within the world of form. Maybe a dreamer, a poet, a seeker really can be of use on the planet.

Imagine.