Coupling On the New Earth

Men and women – women and women – men and men – how are we to be on this New Earth? It seems apparent that all the old patterns no longer apply. They supplied us for a time and their usefulness is done. And, especially for those of us who are starting over, what can we construct that is better than the tired institutions of traditional marriage – traditional relationships?

Many of us are anxious to not repeat the mistakes of the past and to engage with others in a way that supports and blesses. This should not be a new concept, but it is. It is ironic that we hear folks clamoring about the sanctity of traditional marriage when that institution has its roots simply in the transfer of ownership of women from one man to another. Not a great foundation for so-called family values.

And just because Jesus made wine at a wedding does not mean he sanctioned the institution. I’m thinking he was probably so distraught because they sang “Oh Promise Me” that he needed a stiff drink.

I believe there are some relationships in our awareness that are grounded in unconditional love and deep and sacred affection. And many of us, who have failed in the past, are now not willing to accept anything less. We have settled for bits and pieces; we have settled for the half-serving but now we require the greater portion. Nothing else will do.

We do not seek to alter the other who brings us too little – that would be contrary to the value of loving unconditionally. But, here’s the thing: You can still love that other, yet not be willing to remain linked with him/her. It is better to be alone than to be with someone who brings you too little of their time, too little of their affection, too little of their attention.

So we boldly go where none have gone before. We are not seeking our significant other. We are not looking for our soul mate – that is one of the traps that kept us in relationships that did not bless us. We are not in search of someone to complete us – we are complete already. The whole process of coupling takes on a different complexion when we are fully aware of who we are – we are already whole and perfect, so connecting with another does not make us better.

Then why do we couple at all? I have to say it is for the pure joy of sacred union and the blessed heart to heart relationship. We recognize our own unique divinity but we have been dropped into the world of form for a reason – and it seems one of those reasons is to enjoy and appreciate the company of the other. This may be the highest example of love – the recognition of “oneness” in each other. What a beautiful experience it is to look deep into your lover’s eyes and see yourself looking back at you.

Those of you who are maintaining traditional relationships – I challenge you to nurture unconditional love between each other and to view your coupling as a holy sacrament.  I challenge the rest of us to be courageous and to make room for others to appear in our awareness. When you surrender to the undefined appearance of grace in your life, prepare to be “startled by God.”