The Emerging Man

If you are like the majority of human beings, you only occasionally catch glimpses of your True Self – the part of you that is inextricably connected to the Divine – that rests behind that complex construction of what you call your self. This construction is the part of you that was given a name and imagined itself to be a mother or father or daughter or son.

This construction is not who you really are. Your true self peeks around this other being and knows that it alone is the eternal part of you – and none of your pretending or imagining will ever harm it or diminish it.

The spiritual journey is often characterized as moving closer to God, but it would be more accurate to say it is moving closer to the eternal part of you that is permanently connected to God. That is your access point to the Divine – and no one enters the Kingdom of Heaven but through this “anointed” passage way – it is the Christ in you.

You have encountered your True Self when you have had moments of extreme peace and comfort. You have felt it when your fear and worry have melted away and you are unexplainably courageous and confident. You have felt this Self when everything is falling apart but you have the unknowable assurance that everything will be alright. You have felt this Self when you have attuned yourself to hear that “still, small voice” that rescues you from the fear and despair you have invoked.

Maybe you thought it was God extending her grace to you – and in a way it was. More accurately, it is the piece of God you carry around with you – that is available to you at any moment. It is your key to the Kingdom.

This last week, at the writer’s retreat, I had a close encounter with my True Self which I have named the Emerging Man. This occurred when I entered my heart space and let the book that was in me – pour itself out. This man is not a stranger to me, though he has not been prominent in my awareness for some time.

This Emerging Man is the one who writes the books; he is the one who writes most, if not all, of these posts; he is the one who stands up and delivers a surprising performance at the talent show. This man is fearless and courageous; characteristics that were quite foreign to the beaten-down man he is replacing. I have love and compassion for that former self; the old man, but he has stood in the way for far too long. It is time for him to go.

Those of you, who know me well, have seen both of these entities. And the most intuitive of you have been able to see the True Self even when my projection of the beaten down man was at its peak. I love you for that.

Let me make it clear that I have not fully emerged – it is a process. At the writer’s retreat I came down with a case of Bronchitis – I was literally trying to cough up – to purge – the old man. I have shared with some of you that I think I still have maybe a leg and a foot left to expel. So I am far better off than at the retreat, when the alien was trying to break through my chest.

In my quest for transparency, let me divulge the inner workings of the writer and the blogger here: I am quite happy with the concept of the Emerging Man and know it will somehow end up in a later book. Now, although the “beaten down man” accurately describes my former self, I am not happy with that label. It is too long, it is too narrow, and it is way too sad. And though I have already assigned a friend to find a new title for him – now I am thinking he might simply be called “the alien.” If you think you can do better than that – post a comment with your suggestion. Kindness is not required – I have no particular affection for the former self – even though for many years I mistakenly believed him to be me. With that in mind, know that “the Dirty Smelly Bastard” has already been considered and eliminated.

Post Script: The first draft of the novella, “The Tower Card”, was finished in about five days. We are working on the revision and hope to have something ready to publish in just a few weeks. I have started writing the next novel in the series which has the working title, “The Lovers.”