I have been sorely conflicted with what to do with this blog, so I have not posted anything since Christmas. Funny that this has been a very prolific time for my writing and my personal growth, I have just not understood what or how I should share with you.
This venture had a simple goal: to chronicle my own spiritual path. I have anticipated since the beginning that I was entering some sort of awakening experience, and that has certainly come to pass. Let me try to stay close to my original intention which is to tell you my story in a way that is instructive but not preachy. Please tell me if I cross the line.
Now, to the good stuff. You are all familiar with the technique of clearing the clutter out of your house, your office, your mind in order to make room for new, good things to arrive. I invite you to join with me in the New Year to take this task seriously. I do not need to show you that this is an effective practice – it should be self-evident. This is, of course, easier to do with your house than with your SELF. But, often your internal working will start to follow what it sees outside itself, so it is good to start with the externals.
Here in Sedona, I have been working with a community that is practicing the release of internal fears, resentment, anxiety, restrictions. We have been doing this work to make room for abundance to flow into our lives. We are inviting abundance in the form of money, relationships, happiness and peace. Our intentions must be pure and not contaminated by the often dominant and ego-serving goals of the world of form. But, we work, live and play in the world of form – we do not deny it, however temporary it may be. So we bless the field; this is where we reside while we work to redeem this soul and this planet.
I have been tempted over the past weeks to try to define more accurately just what my abundance should look like. I feel like I could put to good use the arrival of more money, I feel like I could make use of some opportunity to publish my writing, maybe there is a perfect job out there where I would be fully utilized and valued. Rev. Mark did a series of lessons and teachings on the topic of abundance where he practically promised I would discover my heart’s desire. But, I believe my head has been too much involved in defining the needs of my heart.
So this week I have been putting my energy into releasing . . . everything: the good, the bad, the ugly. I will talk with you next time about my encounters with the dirty, smelly child that lives in me; but for now, let me leave it that we have made room in my heart for abundance. And when I have not been able to predetermine the size and the shape that gift should take, the Universe decides to surprise me with something I never expected: grace.
Additionally, my wintering hummingbirds have returned. They went away in the Fall, no doubt they received a better offer: sweeter nectar, cleaner feeders. Now I’ve cleared off the patio, swept the tiles, prepared my heart for visitors. And one morning he appears, hovering in the morning sunlight, a flash of red; then into the shadow of the eave, to feed.
Next week: The Shadow