Sunday, July 12, 2009

Beginning

It's hard to know where to begin. It is strange to be starting my life over at 55. And the cause is not the fickle nature of the administrators at Napa High who were not sure they should risk granting tenure to this guy who didn't really act or speak like a teacher, and certainly didn't look like a "new" teacher; and the cause is not the economic downturn nor the failure of the state of California to provide for its schools; and the cause is not the bursting of the real estate bubble that lowered the value of the house in Healdsburg that had soaked up my sweat and blood for the past several years; and the cause is not the ending of a 20-year relationship with a woman I thought I would grow old(older) with.

It is just whining to blame one's situation on circumstances and environmental forces. I have been given a gift: an opportunity to reinvent myself. And I might never have taken this step if the universe had not kicked me in the butt.

So, still early in this journey, I am sitting in the falling light, in a grove of massive cottonwood trees, in spot #51 of the RV park, Bear Wallow Lane, Sedona, Arizona. There will be time to back up and show you how I got here. But for now, the air is still, even the many birds have stopped chirping, and if I can quiet the rest of me, I may have found enlightenment by sunrise.

John

1 comment:

  1. John,

    We're all on a journey of which we think we understand the beginning, middle, and end,but don't. Happy to hear from you, thrilled to be away from teacher-land for a while, trying to become "me" again.

    Keep the words coming.

    Love, Cynthia

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